Blue Ivy
by tequini
Summary: "Excuse me, but have you seen this cat? He's a fatty. Really likes eating junk food. It's a bad diet, I know. Entirely my fault." — in which Aoko helps a strange boy look for his missing cat. AU.


**Blue Ivy**

"Bey, get down from there! And give me back my sock!" The furry feline was currently nesting on one of the cabinets inside Aoko's kitchen, pawing contentedly at a piece of white fabric and clearly not intending to move away. Aoko was tapping her foot impatiently on the ground. It was twenty minutes to Physics class, the walk would take her ten minutes, giving her the other ten minutes to coax her cat into returning her sock.

"Ugh, fine! I won't wear sneakers today. Are you happy?" She stomps angrily back to her shoe rack. In response, her cat follows her out, rubbing its furry body apologetically around her ankles. Her sock was in tatters, but at least she wasn't angry anymore.

"You're a sneaky little kitty." Aoko squats down and picks up her cat, "Gosh you're heavy. Why did I let Keiko talk me into getting you again?"

* * *

Aoko was never born a cat person, or a pet person for that matter. She prefers spending her quiet afternoons not cleaning up the scattered pieces of her favorite glass her cat accidentally sent traversing to her hard wooden kitchen floor. But Keiko had insisted that keeping her old cat was a good idea, and never one to doubt her best friend, Aoko accepted her cat with open arms.

"She might even be a bringer of good luck." Keiko had told her.

" _What luck?_ " Aoko stares glumly at the plastic bags she kept well-hidden underneath her sink now lying in a mess on her living room floor.

Her doorbell rings and reveals a tall boy with messy hair looking clearly sullen. "Excuse me, but have you seen this cat? He's a fatty. Really likes eating junk food. It's a bad diet, I know. Entirely my fault."

He hands her a picture of himself holding a large furry grey cat. "No, I'm sorry."

The boy brings his hand over his chest, sincerely looking as if he'd just been dumped by the love of his life. She felt immediately guilty. Although she didn't particularly have a good relationship with her cat, it was hard to imagine what it was like losing her.

"Do you need some help?" Aoko offers a smile, "I know a few people from this building. Your cat's just around here somewhere."

He stares at her with hopeful eyes, "Really?"

"Yeah sure. I've got no class today, so why not? I'm Aoko by the way."

"I'm Kaito. Nice to meet you." Kaito conjures a rose from thin air and offers it to her.

* * *

The first door they knock on was Aoko's next door neighbor, Hakuba Saguru. He was a third year Criminology student doing "consultative" work at the local police office, not that anybody from the said police office really minded. Saguru was naturally great at detective work.

"Just a warning though." Aoko tells Kaito, "Hakuba-kun isn't really fond of cats."

The door opens to reveal a blonde man, looking uncharacteristically sleep-deprived. "Ah, good afternoon, Aoko-san. How may I help you?"

"We're actually looking for this cat." Aoko catches the wrinkle in Saguru's forehead as she hands him Kaito's picture, "Have you seen one around the building today?"

"He snuck in through the pipes. I actually wonder how he fits in there, he's really fat." Kaito adds.

"I'm not entirely sure. I've been occupied the whole day. Well, specifically for five hours, thirty three minutes, and seven seconds. I put this entire place on lockdown. Why don't you two come in while I try to recall?" Aoko peers through Saguru's open door. His windows were shut tight, and the vast collection of antique vases he kept around his living room were nowhere in sight. There were colorful blankets lying haphazardly on marble floor tiles which looked like they needed a little polishing. Saguru offers them a seat at his pillow-less couch.

"You see, we just had our first batch of puppies. Everyone is excited! Sherlock and Watson are the proud parents. I couldn't be any more thrilled. I puppy-proofed this entire apartment just this morning. I even bought a photo album and a new instant print camera to document their upbringing. Would you like to see some pictures?"

"We're actually kind of in a hurry—"

But Saguru ignores her and takes out a large, expensive-looking album from inside one of the cabinet drawers under the living room table. He leafs through the first three pages which contained various pictures of golden retriever puppies in different places around his apartment, and one picture which looks like it was taken inside the precinct this morning. Saguru was wearing the same outfit in all of the pictures, but Aoko decided against asking why.

The last page contained the individual profiles of each of the three innocent, wide-eyed puppies filled out in alarming detail. "Arthur and Conan, I predict, will be amazing bomb dogs. Instrumental to our country's counterterrorism policy. Doyle is the shyest one, so perhaps he will do better locating illegal drugs with the narcotics team."

Two full-grown golden retrievers popped their head out of the kitchen door and started running toward Aoko and Kaito. "Mycroft! Moriarty! Didn't I just tell you not to run about the house like lunatics? You're scaring our guests!"

"You must really like dogs." Kaito says, taking Mycroft's large furry face with his hands.

"Of course. Against cats, dogs are the superior animal in my opinion. They are incredibly intelligent; Sherlock knows the most tricks but I wouldn't say my other pups are less capable. Did you know Mycroft once sniffed out traces of crystal meth off the washed pants of one suspect for a serious drug trafficking case? Incredible, I tell you. I was inexplicably shaken."

"That's great but—"

"Most importantly, they are very loving creatures. Watson's the best cuddler, especially at nights when I am most… _vulnerable_." Saguru says the last sentence with a somber look on his face. Kaito was looking increasingly disturbed. "Aoko-san, you must really reconsider my offer. My puppies would take better care of you than your snotty cat. This building has very thin walls, you know. I am always concerned about your nightly crying—"

" _Okay_ , that's really not what we came here to talk about." Aoko feels her face heating up, eyes turning awkwardly to Kaito. "Are you really sure you haven't seen a cat?"

Saguru brings his hand to his chin, and hums silently to himself. "I remember catching a glimpse of one fairly chubby cat climb up the fire escape this morning. I think slipped through one of the windows upstairs."

* * *

"I think your friend needs to talk to more human beings." Kaito comments as they climb to the third floor.

Aoko thoughtfully recollects the time she actually told that to Saguru, "Surprisingly, he's happy like that."

"But really, crying all by yourself?" Kaito raises his eyebrow at her in amusement.

She feels her cheeks starting to color and stares awkwardly at her sneakers, "Let's not talk about it."

Kaito snickers, and for some reason Aoko feels as if she's known him for a long time. "Anyway, your friend said my cat went up the fire escape. So the logical conclusion is that he must have went inside one of the apartments right next to the fire escape."

"Very smart." Aoko comments.

"I know," He winks and she rolls her eyes. "Now we just gotta knock on one of these doo— _oh no_."

"Why? What's up?"

* * *

"Why hello there, Kuroba-kun." There was a slender woman leaning against the door frame. She was wearing a sultry satin robe which was short enough to show off her smooth legs. There was something eerie about the woman, which made the hairs out of Aoko's arms stand in terror. "Perfect timing. I was just about to take a bath."

Instead of looking attracted, Kaito's seemed to be sporting a look of both irritation and slight fright. "Koizumi, I—"

"Who is this girl?" Aoko suddenly feels her spine straighten up out of reflex. The woman doesn't look too happy, "Is she your friend? _Girlfriend_? Are you… _dating_?" She looked increasingly horrified as she made her assumption.

" _No_. We're looking for my cat. Have you seen him?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. If you give me a kiss, perhaps I will tell you."

" _No_. No kisses. Just tell me where my cat is!"

"You wound me, Kuroba-kun. Satan and I have been lonely without you. You never visit us anymore." The Koizumi girl looked genuinely hurt.

"S-Satan?" Aoko feels a chill going down her spine. She was never a devout Catholic, and for some reason she started regretting skipping Sunday mass last week.

" _Macaw_." Kaito clarifies almost immediately. "Satan is her weird macaw."

Aoko peers inside the open door and sure enough there was a large golden bird cage by Akako's window, containing a bright scarlet macaw bobbing its head at the sudden noise.

"He's very good at imitating you. He caught your voice perfectly from the total of two visits you made here this semester. Isn't that right, Satan?" Akako takes her parrot out of its cage, and nestles her head affectionately against its feathers.

" _Get way…_ ," Satan crows unmistakably mimicking Kaito's voice, " _Get away from me, Koizumi_."

"Isn't he amazing?" She croons.

"That _is_ kinda cool." Aoko slides her hand down Satan's bright, soft feathers. "Can you do more impressions?"

" _My burrito! I dropped my burrito!_ " The parrot was flapping its wings making a few incoherent noises still sounding amazingly like Kaito, " _Scary bird! Scary bird!_ "

Kaito clears his throat, " _My cat_ , people. My cat is kinda missing."

Akako sighs exasperatedly, "Your stupid cat came by this morning. Let's just say Satan wasn't pleased. I did you a selfless favor and brought your cat to your building, but you weren't there so I left it with your neighbor."

"You did _what?_ "

* * *

"Are you okay?" They were on the way to Kaito's building, which was the seven-storey red-brick walled building right beside hers. Kaito was looking absently at nothing in particular, paler than usual.

"Aoko." He says with a raspy voice, pressing a hand on her shoulder. Weirdly, she felt comfortable enough around him to let him call her without honorifics. "I have a confession to make. This might be the last time I'll be able to say this: I think we would have been great friends."

"Huh?"

They stop in front of a freshly painted red door with the numbers _1413_ engraved in fake gold in the middle. There was an elaborate door knocker below the room number, and a little slit underneath for mail. Aoko thought it was pretty fancy for an apartment door. Kaito, on the other hand, was looking at it like it was the gate of Hell.

"This is our final journey, partner. Whatever happens from here on out, I just want you to know that the last forty five minutes with you has been one of the most awesome forty five minutes I've ever had. Don't forget me."

Aoko was really confused and before she could stop him, Kaito whips his foot into the air and determinately kicks open the probably really expensive front door, watching it skid loudly into a wool carpet.

* * *

"What the actual fuck, Kuroba? I just had that door shipped last week!"

There was a boy sprawled in a comfortable looking massage chair, looking unmistakably alarmed and irritated at the sudden intrusion. He looked almost like Kaito, except that he combed his hair back neatly, and kept a regal posture, even as he was pushing himself up his chair in annoyance.

Kaito, who had his eyes tightly closed, was shouting blindly at the plasma TV at the opposite side of the room, "Where's my cat, four eyes? Give me back my cat!"

"I'm right here, you dumb shit."

The living room was enormous, and hummed with the sound of colorfully-lit aquariums containing different kinds of saltwater and freshwater fish swimming over swaying flesh-colored corals. Above the TV hung a beautiful watercolor painting of two koi fish swimming over smooth pebbles with the name _Ran M._ on the edge. In the sunny balcony, there was a small koi pond with floating lily pads and a bamboo spitter coating the afternoon breeze with the gentle sound of trickling water. "Wow, you have a really nice place here."

" _Nice_ place?" Kaito shouts with an increasingly panicky voice, "There are five hundred other jail cells in the district penitentiary that are better than this hell hole!"

The boy rolls his eyes and walks past Kaito who still had his eyes tightly shut, mindlessly grabbing the air in front of him and mumbling to himself, "show yourself you coward!"

"You must be his friend. I'm Shinichi Kudo, his next door neighbor. I really apologize for his behavior. He's not a big fan of fish."

"You have so many cute fish in here! Are those box fish?" Aoko taps lightly at one of the tanks labelled _Saltwater_. The school of bright yellow spotted fish diffuse underneath the large rocks. She fondly remembers coming across a dried up box fish washed up by the beach last summer.

"A-Aoko stop fraternizing with the enemy!" Kaito's blind trudging now led him dangerously close to an expensive-looking flower vase.

Shinichi ignores Kaito, "You'll be surprised actually, how effective these fish are at repelling the neighborhood thieves." He shoots Kaito a weird glance, "Not a single carton of chocolate milk ever went missing anymore ever since I started taking care of these beautiful things. It's a miracle really. My girlfriend loves them too, so that's a bonus."

"You have no soul." Kaito seethes from under his breath, finally facing the correct direction, "Where's my cat!"

"If you actually peel your eyes open, you'll find that your cat is in my room."

"Aoko, I can't last any longer." Kaito was starting to have serious breathing problems. Feeling incredibly pitiful, Aoko walks over to the open bedroom door to find Kaito's chubby grey cat licking its feet on Shinichi's queen-sized bed.

"Hey there little kitty, let's go home." She stretches out her hands, but the suddenly frightened cat jumped away from her. "Hey, come back! Oh my god Kaito your cat just leaped out of the window!"

Just as fast as lighting, Kaito peels his eyes open and haphazardly and carelessly runs for the open window, which was two storeys high. Everything was happening so fast: Shinichi was in his living room, groaning loudly about his dislocated door, Aoko was paralyzed against the wall watching in helpless terror as Kaito recklessly dives into the open window like a madman, shouting: "Inside this stink hole, my cat has legitimate fears!"

Shinichi was now leaning by the doorframe, pressing a hand over his forehead in obvious irritation. "This is normal, don't worry."

* * *

Aoko finds Kaito chasing his cat back to her building. The cat leaps up the rusty fire escape, mewling in protest. Kaito stops and observes the fire escape, presumably trying to figure out how to catch his cat which was climbing fast up toward the second floor.

"Kaito, what are you—Hey are you going to—Don't—"

Kaito ignores her, and makes another daring leap over the closed-off fire escape. There is a crowd of curious onlookers gathering around to watch the spectacle, and Aoko brings her hands to her temples, feeling that headache coming, muttering to herself why she agreed to this in the first place.

She sprints quickly back inside her building, silently thanking the gods that her apartment was on the third floor and just right beside the fire escape. She could catch them there. When she gets to her unit, she darts for the window, and slams it open, startling her cat snoring by her nearby couch. Kaito's surprisingly agile fat cat was on the second floor, already closing in on her as she reaches an arm out to coax it with some of the potato chips she left on her living room table this morning.

Kaito's face beams when his really heavy cat latches onto Aoko's thin arm. This is the heaviest cat she has ever carried, it felt like eternity before she brought him inside the safety of her apartment.

"Jay-Z! You saved him!" Kaito shouts. But before she could breathe a sigh of relief, her cat, now spastic from the commotion, leaps out of the open window.

"Oh my God, Beyonce!" She screams.

Kaito and Aoko share an awkward and confused look, before Kaito dangles dangerously over the fire escape to catch her furry cat with two arms.

* * *

"No offense, but I think I'll never do that ever again." Aoko sighs as she shuts her dark curtains over the burning orange sky outside her locked window. Kaito was sprawled lazily on her couch, and Aoko notes painfully that he brought his dirty sneakers over her newly vacuumed carpet.

"It was a lot of fun though. Thanks again for catching Jay-Z. He even made a new friend." He snickers as he watches Beyonce study Jay-Z with her paw. He turns to her, "So, Beyonce, huh?"

"I just moved out of my dad's place a few weeks ago. I'm still not used to it, hence the…crying thing. My best friend gave me her cat Beyonce to keep me company, but I don't think she likes me that much."

"You're not a good cat owner are you?" He sighs in mock remorse.

"I don't see how you're any better, Mr. Spiderman." Aoko wrinkles her nose at him, "Seriously, what do you feed him?"

Kaito looks away and grumbles very quickly, "Chips, gummy bears, junk food. Sometimes soda. Basically whatever I'm having for breakfast, lunch and dinner." Aoko gives him a look of confusion and disbelief, "But that's not important. What's important is that I accept your request to teach you how to take care of your cat."

"I didn't ask."

"You didn't have to." He winks, "You can cook me dinner in return." He says after sniffing the baked macaroni and cheese inside her microwave, stomach grumbling in satisfaction. "Maybe even lunch and breakfast too, if you want. Can we also share in your chocolate milk, if you have any?"

Aoko brings a hand to massage her temple. Earlier this afternoon, she only agreed to helping some sad kid look for his pet cat. She definitely didn't think the world's most unpredictable person would be sprawled in her couch, requesting to spend additional hours of her time to fulfill his strange needs. Doesn't he know how to cook? He also seems to be the more irresponsible owner, not to brag. And judging from today's series of incredibly impulsive events, he seems to be a pretty reckless person in general. Aoko honestly felt like he was the one who could use more help and guidance in just about everything else other than pet care.

But he seemed funny and cool, and genuinely interested in being her friend. Maybe Keiko was right. Maybe Beyonce did bring some good luck.

"Okay, fine." She sighs, "Just no more junk food please. Also, we share in the expenses."

"Great! Maybe we could even have babies!" Kaito catches himself, and brings his hands up to immediately clarify, " _Cat_ babies, I mean. Uh, kittens. Between our cats. You know like…Blue Ivy?" He offers an awkward grin.

* * *

In the next room, Saguru hears a burst of laughter which lasted for five minutes. He picks up one of his golden puppies affectionately, "I guess Aoko-san no longer needs your service."

* * *

 **A/N:** so pets huh... i know akako uses the name lucifer but i thought satan would be a little funnier. haha. sorry for this idiotic oneshot i hope you all liked it


End file.
